Week 7 – Recap!

Red Hot Cherry Poppers 14, I Blue Myself 12

[Game Stats]

In the last game of the regular season, Finals favorites I Blue Myself and Red Hot Cherry Poppers met for one last clash of the Titans. The game started out even, with both teams trading blows. The wind played a major factor, running basically parallel to the field, creating clear upwind and downwind sides. Musings on the sidelines were that the first team to break upwind would take the game. Unfortunately for the Tobias Fünke emulators, those Cherry Poppin Daddies (and Mamas?) took the first upwind break. This provided them with some momentum, which they used to repeatedly plow Blue’s defense. At first, the Blue team seemed to be willing to roll over and take the punishment. Down 7-4 leading into the end of the half, Blue did take a timeout to catch their breath and clean themselves up. It did little good; Red took the half up 8-6. Coming out of the half, Blue stepped up the defensive intensity with 2 layout blocks in the same point from Giulian Jauregui (unfortunately Blue wasn’t able to capitalize) and another spectacular layout block to save a score from Christian Pitts. Despite Blue getting horizontal on the D, Red continued to push the disc downfield and into the end zone with relative ease. As the Cherry Poppers consistently crammed it in over and over again, Blue was true to its name in one sense (coming close, but being stopped just on the cusp of finishing). At the end of the game, Blue finally found their rhythm and began to make a run. Finally, Blue brought the ga.e within one as hard cap came on, giving them just one opportunity to even the score and bring it to universe. However, Red’s dominance in this game would not be questioned. While they gave the disc away a few times during that last point, and whined about the score and assholes falling on them (Shaun), ultimately they came out on top.

*Author’s Note If you are unfamiliar with the show Arrested Development, it might help to inform you that Tobias Fünke is a character on the show known for being a “never nude”(hence the jorts) and for frequently and unknowingly using many sexual innuendos. Hopefully this helps to explain the style in which this recap was written.

Written by: Giulian Jauregui

I Like Turtles 15, Plain White D’s 8

[Game Stats]

In a game that would determine the #1 seed heading into playoffs, both teams took a skeleton crew of a roster to the regular season finale. Despite the conditions, both teams seemed to deal with wind just fine since the players who all showed up were adept handlers. Plain White D’s only brought 6 players, so they relied on some steady pick ups with Chris Cawley and Corey Whittaker. Conversely I Like Turtles started the game with only 9 players and with Lari as their only female player; forcing them to play down 1 on defense for half the game when White would opt to play 5-2.

Points were traded early on with both teams holding. Green stuck with their patented handler focused vert stack, trading throwing options for more space for their handlers to cut and get open. To try and get an advantage and also save legs, White would occasionally throw zone which would slow Green down but not stop them from scoring. Carlito and Andrea played the role of field generals for White, often and successfully sending Matt Villa deep for multiple scores.

The Turtles would make their break on the game with the belated arrival of Megan “I do in 1 half what most players do in 2” Reeves. After a hotly contested time out where Green just needed an extra 30s for her to get her cleats on and not play another defensive point shorthanded, Megan proceeded to make her presence known. Late arrivals also included Tim “My bad I overslept” Strutzenberg, and Brandon “Nah fuck this i’m not playing” Garcia. Adding more weapons downfield would allow Green to go on a YUGE run out of the half. The game would end up getting away from White and the Turtles would end up snatching the #1 seed and the decision on who to play 1st round in this weeks playoff tournament.

Week 7 – Previews

I Like Turtles vs Plain White D’s

This one is literally for all the marbles. Both teams stand at 4-2 but Plain White D’s hold the head to head record currently at 2-0. The Turtles need to win out to guarantee the 1st seed heading into playoffs. Despite already playing twice, both these teams have yet to face each other at full strength. This week will be more of the same. Conditions might be a little less than optimal for ultimate. White will bring an impressive defensive presence with Garcia far an away the clear defensive MVP, but unfortunately he can’t cover the entire team. My prediction is that green will once again grinds this one out to try and lock up the 1st seed for playoffs.

Prediction: I Like Turtles 13, Plain White D’s 12

Red Hot Cherry Poppers vs I Blue Myself

It would be a great wedding present if Blue could get the win for Frank and Megan this weekend. The Red Hot Cherry Poppers will definitely look to be wedding crashers this weekend. Red has had ample attendance all season long and it will look to pay dividends against what looks to be a thin blue squad (numbers wise, not waistline). Fresh legs typically beat tired ones, especially with a high flying team like Red. Accounting for wedding hangovers, I’m giving the edge to Red giving them the series against Blue 2-1.

Prediction: Red Hot Cherry Poppers 11, I Blue Myself 8

Week 6 Recap!

Commissioner’s Note: Please note we will be off Easter weekend. Also Casey Burrows is planning some beach/party shenanigans this weekend. BUL will be contributing mimosas Iain Forgey will be picking up a gallon of OJ and 2 bottles of champagne from me this week. If said items go missing, blame him.

I Like Turtles 14, I Blue Myself 13

[Game States]

The conditions were ideal for some good ultimate, and that is exactly what we got Sunday morning. After trading points early, Blue went on a complete tear on green. Frank looking for redemption after getting shut out of the stat sheet last in week 5, kept the offense flowing. They took advantage of the Turtles bend don’t break defense early with with easy inside breaks and even easier force side unders. Frank and Giulian kept the offense going at a frenetic pace while Green still had no answer for both Pitts and Elijah downfield. The Turtles conversely just had problems connecting on offense. Playing primarily out of the vert stack, the cutters were just jammed and impatient. Whenever their offense did get moving, it was just a one off poorly thrown reset, or a hammer/huck going a tad too far that would put the brakes on green’s flow. I Blue Myself took this opportunity to jump ahead taking half 8-4 in only 40 min of play.

If there’s one thing about the green team, its their ability to wear down an opponent and refocus; the 2nd half was a completely different ball game. While the stats sheets don’t reflect this, Green leaned heavily on the play of Joe Cutrono and Megan Reeves. While their cutters still had timing issues downfield and cutting out of turn; Joe, Megan, and Adam would literally march up the field with an impressive array of break swings into upline J cuts to will green to the endzone. Green’s women had been playing great defense on blue’s dominant female cutters in Stacy and Bock; in the 2nd half they took it beyond shutdown D, to Reeves and Lari wrecking havoc in open space with some great poach D’s; the latter netting her own hat trick of blocks. While struggling early on offensively, Peter Freystaetter would come up with a huge defensive play out of a timeout that would turn the tide and find Green tying the game at 10-10.

Every point after were traded in hotly contested battles. An irrelevant softcap would sound with the game being 13-12 in green’s favor. Highlights include Frank making an incredible toe the line snag just over the outstretched arms of the 6’7 Freystaetter and Charlie chasing down a wide open deep cutter to make a last second tip D to save the easy score. Hard cap would sound with the game at 13-13 indicating that there would be no universe point. It was a hotly contested defensive battle with both teams being at the doorstep of the endzone but unable to punch it in. The final few plays were controversial as they were pivotal; pick calls negated a potential green score, while 2 controversial foul on the throw calls let green keep with possession at the doorstep, close to the win. A legitimate hand block from Frank would end up being in vain as Charlie managed to hop forward catching his own disc in the endzone for the 14-13 win.

Plain White D’s 15, Red Hot Cherry Poppers 9

[Game Stats]

Hello and welcome to the week 16 recap of Small White D’s vs the Red Hot Cherry Poppers.  Fun fact: The band, Red Hot Chili Peppers, was actually originally named Red Hot Cherry Poppers. They had to change their name, along with some song lyrics to “Give it Away”, when they appeared on the Krusty the Clown show back in the early 1990’s, due to network pressure to make the band more family friendly.  The name stuck, but the lyrics were only changed for the night. Ok, now that you’re all a little smarter….back to the recap.

Sunday could quite possibly have been one of the nicest days ever for a game of Ultimate! A very light breeze wafted across the field on a partly cloudy morning as the teams took the fields.  At first pull SWD’s was savage, but for mercenary (and your humble narrator) Corey Whittaker.  RHCP (who will be sued for copyright infringement once the use of these initials gets out) was at nearly full strength, including  Rocco’s Taco’s legend and first round draft pick Edwin “Eddie” Sanchez.  Loaded with ladies, (Allison, Lian, Darly, Katie) and with long time teammates Tim “I’m to sick for beach ultimate” Elfrink, and Mike “the Bone Crusher” Sanders Red looked to get off to a Hot start!  That they did!! Within mere minutes they had a two nothing lead and seemed in control and confident.  Unfortunately for the poopers, this was not to last.  Unlike the last time these two teams met, white maintained composure, and with the arrival of some reinforcements (Including the likes of Gentry and McKelvey), white took 6 of the next 7 points to open a comfortable 6 – 3 lead.  Notable highlights were Matt “the Misha Massacring Master” Bristol getting a seriously athletic D, and later a catch, against his much taller and widely renowned opponent.  Also of note: Rie, Misha’s beautiful and Ultimately talented wife, kept pace with her husband’s legendary family name by being a one woman red wrecking crew. She was catching everything on offense, even when it wasn’t thrown to her (Thanks for that by the way), and flying all over on D.  When she eventually went down, she just rubbed on some dirt and got back up!  It was a truly an inspirational performance.  While the game felt good spirited and fun for both teams, white acted like they knew how to win, and did so with little to no drama.  

I should mention that Misha and McKelvey had very nice games for white, but when you set the bar so high, exceptional performances often become expected… Bar = Lowered.  Next time I’ll take notes.  I’m drinking Yuengling this time…

Ok fuck it. Red, you lost because BMO wasn’t there. There I said it, it needed to be said.

Written by: Corey Whittaker with Yuengling

Week 6 – Previews

Commissioner’s Note: We will be playing at Steven’s Field, located across the street from Wimberly

525 NE 39th St, Oakland Park, FL 33334

I Like Turtles vs I Blue Myself

The last time these 2 teams met, Green came away with a convincing 14-11 victory. The game, however, was closer than the score made it seem. Both teams couldn’t play more contrasting style of play. I Blue Myself lives on the shoot first ask questions later style of offense, while I Like Turtles will grind teams defenses to a pulp with their patient and exacting style of play. Defensively both teams have athletes, and it should make for a very entertaining game. In the end, I Like Turtles winning this one.

Prediction: I Like Turtles 15, I Blue Myself 12

Red Hot Cherry Poppers vs Plain White D’s

Another great rematch as it was this very match up that sparked red’s recent climb up the standings. The last 2 games for Red have either been won or lost on universe. This week stands to be no different. The Red Hot Cherry Poppers will still be playing lights out defense, White will still be fast as hell. I think white will know what to expect this time around and will not be caught off guard. This game will likely be a highly contested defensive battle, but I think white’s offense will pull them through. It’s about a questionable as hospital pass but Plain White D’s 2 game losing streak ends here.

Prediction: Plain White D’s 13, Red Hot Cherry Poppers 12

Week 5 Recap!

Commissioner’s Note: We are off this weekend with beach tourney and cannon’s weekend killing attendance. It’s important to say that at the mid season mark, its incredible that 1 game separates all the teams. The games for the most part have been very competitive and intensely fought. Also heres the dog that kept picking up every cone I put down on the south fields. Took me over half an hour to set up with Monet and Connor laughing at me.

If we have numbers, I will get fields and have pick up Sunday morning.

I Like Turtles 15, Red Hot Cherry Poppers 14

[Game Stats]

KOBE WUZ HERE (80% attendance rating be damned) …but the same couldn’t be said for the rest of the green team. Playing with only 2 subs on the hot turf against a streaking Red Hot Cherry Poppers who were out en masse. You’d imagine a team this low on numbers would gain chemistry quickly playing every point together but that was not the case. Red generated break after break jumping out to an early 4-1 lead while green struggled to find what to do with 2 new players who’ve yet to play in their system. While a lot of the turns forced didn’t register as a D, it definitely was all credit to the red’s tight man defense that forced all those breaks. In fact that suffocating D lead to an emphatic callahan for Anish early on. Of course with that exclamation point also signaled a changing of the tide. Peter Freystaetter sparked the come back coming down with some huge deep grabs. Whenever short from the endzone, he was able to hit the easy uplines throws for the score.

In all honesty though, when Green needed a lift, they went to their women to do all the heavy lifting. If Reeves, Kumi and Lari were on the field, the offense would always hold. Elrink, Sanders, Rocco and T steadied the red offense, but Green would continue to throw a new zone and man looks on defense to disrupt Red’s rhythm. A few crucial breaks and green would break back to bring it to within 1 at half. The 2nd half was just a bloodbath with long drawn out battling points. Major highlights include spectacular layout D’s from Matt Bristol and Brandon Morrison.

Soft cap was rendered useless with both teams being tied at 13. With more grinding back and forth play, the turtles were finally able to generate another turn and called their 1st timeout of the game (2 subs and no TOs for 26 straight points folks) looking to punch it in for the lead. After watching the turtles set up, the red team sniffed out the play set up and easily poached the drawn up handler zip cut for the turn. This scenario would repeat itself until the game was tied 14-14 with hard cap going off. In the waning moments the green kill line, once again leaned on their women played super patient offense, and knocked in the win despite never leading in the game other than opening 1-0. Props to both teams playing 4-3 as much as possible!

I Blue Myself 15, Plain White D’s 9

[Game Stats]

Hello and welcome to the week… uhhh week 3?? 4??? Um that time AJ was there and kept stats for blue week recap of Red BUL… er Blue Steel… er I Blew Myself vs Small White D’s.  Correction: I BLUE Myself vs Plain White D’s. (That’s what you get when no one volunteers to do the recap and Tim assigns someone… but I digress.)

It was a beautiful bright sunny March morning in a Fort Lauderdale ghetto when Blue and White took the field to battle for ultimate supremacy! Following standard Whittaker procedure, Sofia and I were late and had to warm up during the first few points so while the beginning is a bit hazy, I’ll do my best.  As I recall at least two of the first four points had about a thousand (yes a thousand… I was counting) turnovers. Blue came out on the scoring end of both of these, one of which was grabbed by a streaking puff of hair known lovingly throughout the SFL ultimate community as Daniel Prada.  It is this writer’s opinion that blue coming out on top of both hard fought points set the tone for the rest of the game, despite being down 3 in the beginning.  

Blue was steadied on offense by “run the disc through me” Rosie and Frank “the zero stats tank” on offense.  One of the major keys to blues victory on both sides of the disc was the way the girls kept “Megan plays”!  Despite all the work blue was putting in white would not go down easily.  Solid and impressively patient handler play from Carlito, Zack, Garcia, and Andrew Cox allowed for some really nice dump swings back and forth across the goal line until a score. Smooth cutter play from Connor, Nathan, and Villa also added to blues woes.  The oft open Rie, Sofie, Monet and Gentry seemed to be playing well but were ultimately under utilized by the white squad. By halftime, I Blue Myself’s fast paced, throw first, think later, style allowed them to rally back from a 2 break deficit on the backs of Jonnie L and Julian J… or G (sorry Julian I’m too lazy to go on fb to check) to take a 8-6 lead at half. At which point disaster struck!!!  SFL’s own, and much loved, Megan Wilke (Soon to be Grande) injured her thumb trying to catch a disc and had to sit out the second half leaving blue with only one girl.

At this point, Garcia, the benevolent and wise leader of small white D’s, allowed Blew to play a 6/1 guy girl ratio despite being flush with girls on his own team.  Blue decided to repay him by hatching an evil plot to take their time back to the line. This diabolical scheme, in all of its dark wisdom, infuriated Garcia and he became more of an ultimate machine than man in the second half.  Despite Garcia flying all over the field, blue found stability in Kelvin’s patient hands and the positive play of the Evil Dr Diddly Dudwrong aka Sam 2.  In the end blue team was able to stave off the lightly rostered white team and gain a  much needed 15 – 9 victory.

PS: I hope you all enjoyed this week’s recap.  For those tragically born without a sense of humor, I’m sincerely sorry if I’ve offended you.

PSS: I know Julian’s name is spelled with a “G” as in “G”uilain…. There, I’ve literally spelled that joke out for you.

Written By: Corey Whittaker w/ Gin


Week 5 – Previews

Commissioner’s Note: Game at Carter Park, 1450 W Sunrise Blvd, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33311.
Green/Red – Turf
White/Blue – Grass


I Like Turtles vs Red Hot Cherry Poppers

Red is just like Hansel… the hottest team in the league right now; winning their last 2 games in a row. They face off against one of the most even keeled teams in I Like Turtles. The poppers will have to use their frenetic high flying style to try and force turns against a stingy green offense. There will be a bit of wind this weekend, 10-13 mph, which certainly plays into Green’s handler heavy roster. This game will also be played on the fast turf of Carter Park. Hopefully the poppers have ample arm and leg sleeves or they’ll be sporting some bad cases of road rash with their wanton layout style of play. This game should be a barn burner with both teams having heavily contrasting styles of play. In the end, I think the green team’s patience and grinding style of play will wear red down in the end.

Prediction: I Like Turtles 15, Red Hot Cherry Poppers 14

I Blue Myself vs Plain White D’s

Just like how the “cream rises to the top”. Plain White D’s have the target on their backs as the team to beat this season. It doesn’t matter if their whole team is there, or they’re missing the top half of their roster, they’ve just found ways to win. In trickle down talent economic theory, the standout defensive play of Garcia and the break artist ability of Andrea, the captains on this squad definitely sets the tone. Blue is coming into this game on a bit of a skid but looks to try and stem the bleeding this week. They’ve never been out in any game this season and could easily be 4-0 rather than 1-3. White undeniably has the fastest players in league even if you don’t count their cannons. Blue will have to throw the kitchen sink at them to slow them down.

Prediction: Plain White D’s 15, I Blue Myself 13

Week 4 – Recap

Red Hot Cherry Poppers 15, I Blue Myself 14

[Game Stats]

Red team was true to their name this week, coming out of the gate HOT, popping cherries left and right. They started with two quick breaks to put Blue on their heels. Blue answered, but weakly, allowing two more breaks before limping to half down 4-8. I Blue Myself’s offense was solid for the most part, but had trouble in the red zone. Red’s offense was also flowing well. It may have been spotty at times, but they capitalized when they had the opportunities. Matt Bristol did most of the heavy lifting for Red with an impressive 5 scores, 3 assists and 5 Ds. Blue, on the other hand, spread scores and assists fairly evenly across the board. Blue came out of half fired up, ready for a comeback. With Sam’s family present, team morale was soaring. They found their stride offensively with a few deep looks and Megan Bock coming down with some key jump balls. Red continued to play consistent offense, but a few forced turnovers and the wind gave Blue the opportunities they needed. Slowly but surely, break by break, they worked their way back just as time cap was coming on. Blue outscored Red 10-7 in the second half to bring it to universe point. Unfortunately for them, Red’s consistent offense ultimately prevailed with workhorse Matt Bristol coming down with his 5th and final score to take the game 15-14.

Written by: Giulian Jauregui

Plain White D’s 15, I Like Turtles 9

[Game Stats]

Stuff happened. Mischa showed up and is still very tall and still very good as his equally tall brother Peter seemed to have trouble containing him. Jeremy went boating instead. White won.

Week 4 – Previews

Commish Note: We will once again have cricket coming in after us. Games will have to start on time, I will literally be picking up cones regardless of the status of the games going on at noon sharp.

Red Hot Cherry Poppers vs I Blue Myself

Red looked great in their game against white. The big question will be how will they distribute the roles with the addition of Edwin, Bristol, Anish and others who were out last week, was it addition by subtraction? Blue also looks to rebound against a tough loss to I Like Turtles last week. Conditions look to be the same as last week with 10 mph winds, an annoyance but manageable. This game will come down to really one factor; leadership. Catie and Shaun will need to continue to reign in their team to play disciplined ultimate. Blue will need to figure out how to deal with the new parts and new scheme of this Red team; while Sanders was the lone addition, this team looks way different from the team they faced week 1. Red looked great last week, and I can’t imagine them taking a step backwards with re-adding weapons like Edwin, Anish and Bristol.

Prediction: Red Hot Cherry Poppers 15, I Blue Myself 13

I Like Turtles vs Plain White D’s

A rematch of what was possibly one of the most epic battles this season. The big questions marks will be, who will be at the game? Week 1 showcased white’s ability to win without the 6’7 wife carrying monster that is Mischa Freystaetter. With Rie on his shoulders, that total height increases to 10’3. Is that even coverable? Real talk, both these teams are scary good. Both these teams will likely be missing a player here or there. Both have the leadership at the helm to adjust, exploit, and attack. I can’t make a call so I decided my prediction via coin flip, giving it to green.

Prediction: I Like Turtles 15, Plain White D’s 14

Week 3 Recap!

Red Hot Cherry Poppers 15, Plain White D’s 7

[Game Stats]

Plain White D’s were essentially running on fumes, starting the game savage and receiving reinforcements as the day wore on. Red Hot Cherry Poppers have always been good about fielding a full squad, but this time they managed to get them all involved. The old Pompeii throwback handler line of Elfrink, Rocco and Sanders allowed Tony to move further downfield where he could do more damage. Sanders specifically brought a much needed steady hand to the backfield, allowing red to use their athletic cutters do what that do best. On defense, literally bodies were flying as Red generated numerous turns against a thin white squad. Garcia paved the way trying to get white back into the game generating turn after turn, but white missing the top half of their draft just kept coming up short and unable convert on break chances. Even if white was able to fill a full roster, red finally seemed to find the key to their team. Borrowing from computer science, they learned the value of separation of concerns. With a more rounded out roster, they can finally get the handlers handle, let the cutters cut, and all of them go apeshit on D. This is a much strategy rather than forcing their players to step up by playing out of position.

I Like Turtles 14, I Blue Myself 11

[Game Stats]

Finally the wind decided to take a break this week giving way to some great weather conditions for ultimate. Unfortunate for blue I Like Turtles shot out to an early lead with crispy team-centric play. Calm, cool and collected, Blue managed to stem the bleeding forcing a few breaks led by a great goal line foot block by Stacy Leatherman. Kinetic give and go play by Frank and Roosevelt helped blue to try and get their offense going through Green’s zone defense. Somehow blue managed to right the ship and draw the game even at 6-6. As quick as the comeback began, they started to sputter out of half as green retook the lead but alas in the end green played like a well oiled machine and looking at the stat sheet, got everyone involved and blew by I Blue Myself. Match goes to green.

Week 3 – Previews

Red Hot Cherry Poppers vs Plain White D’s aka the Battle of the Bands

While not a song by the Plain White T’s whites anthem has definitely been “All I Do is Win“. The Red Hot Cherry Poppers come in looking to change their tune and inflict some “Scar Tissue” on the undefeated white team. While their season so far has been categorized as a “Natural Disaster“, Red adds Mike Sanders to the mix hoping his experience and skills with the disc will allow Red to make more than “1, 2, 3, 4” consecutive passes. “By the Way” white is looking to be missing Connor, Looney, Misha and Mckelvey this weekend. White is still a plenty deep team with a “Can’t Stop” mentality, but this is literally red’s game to “Give It Away“. I “Hate” to say it but I’m giving Red the advantage this week in a close battle which should give “Pause” to every team in the league.

Prediction: Red Hot Cherry Poppers 15, Plain White D’s 14

I Blue Myself vs I Like Turtles

This should be another extremely close game. I Like Turtles thrives on making zero mistakes on the field. They are the most evenly balanced team in the league with an equal distribution of steady handlers, aggressive cutters, and lock down defenders (if you know they show up… ahem kobe). The only team looking to match that ying and yang is I Blue Myself. Blue will be hungry to redeem themselves always blowing a sizable lead to lose on universe against white last week. Both teams will lose important role players on their O and D lines this weekend but it still looks to be one hell of a game. I think green will have a tough time containing Pitts, and Blue’s dominant women cutters giving them the slight advantage in another great game where everyone down the roster will have to step up.

Prediction: I Blue Myself 15, I Like Turtles 14